Dear Hazel,
Do I remember life without you? Yes, I do. But it seems distant. I remember being pregnant, but my body is back to normal(ish). It feels like you have been a part of our family forever. In a way you always have been... Just behind the curtain waiting for the call to make your appearance. Now here you are center stage and my, how quickly you have assimilated into our world. Or perhaps we to yours.
You are three whole months old. You have reached the end of your fourth trimester, as they say, and you are definitely not a newborn anymore. Not to my eyes, anyway. All I can see is how much you have grown and learned. You are not the little stranger I birthed. You are our Hazel. All 13 pounds and 25 inches of you! I have packed up even more of your newborn clothes and you are wearing the heck out of all your 0-3 and 3-6 month clothes. You even wear 6-9 month Gerber onesies (but they run really small after a washing).
We are still exclusively feeding you breast milk despite all the changes we've been through this month. The main difference is that I have gone back to work, and you have started daycare. They feed you bottles and I still come visit you and nurse you everyday for lunch. You seem to like daycare so far. Your teachers are kind and you have a lot of new baby friends to watch and learn from. Your school is full of new noises and bright colors and you seem to be mesmerized by it.
I never know quite what to expect from you these days. Some days you get very chatty, other days you are quiet, and some you're just sleepy. One thing that you seem to do in abundance though, is drool. I think it's because you've discovered your hands and you are always trying to shove both of them in your mouth at the same time.
My favorite thing you've done this month is giggle. You did it once a few weeks ago while your dad was changing your diaper. Then the next day was your practice day of daycare and when I visited you for lunch you giggled at me. But then you stopped. For the past couple weeks we've made ridiculous attempts to coax them out of you... I'm talking funny faces and noises out the wazoo. (I've even started blowing raspberries at work because I blow them so frequently at you.) But you have been withholding the giggles. Until yesterday. Your Mimi and Gramps were watching you and when your dad came home at lunch you just started giggling at him. He thinks you were delirious. You will probably not laugh again for the next 3 weeks.
You seem to have grown out of the pictures I drew for you. Now you are much more interested in gazing upon your toys, and you are transfixed by lights and light fixtures.
Once a night, you still wake up to nurse (yes, it's still frequently because of your little baby toots) and it is anywhere between 3am and 6am. When you make it until six, we count that as sleeping through the night!!
You are so strong now. You hold your head up pretty steadily. You frequently "stand" in our laps, still with a lot of support from us, but those leg rolls are obviously hiding some growing muscles. You also rolled over for the first time! You rolled over from your back to your front one night when we had you in your "bean" suit and we were trying to put you to bed. Then, you were able to roll back from your front to your back! Since you were all swaddled up, we didn't fully count it, but since then you've been able to roll over a few times from front to back with your arms free.
Your dad took a week off to spend with you when I went back to work, and he was so excited to see what being a stay at home dad was like. Spoiler alert: he said he could probably do it full time! He really enjoyed the bonding time with you, and he also managed to be really productive around the house. He is SuperDad!
Me on the other hand... I've had my first experiences causing you pain. In one instance I was trimming your nails and I was so focused on one nail that I didn't notice your other finger too close to the clippers, and I pinched it. You bled and cried. I didn't cry, but I felt really awful about it. Then on another day, we were hanging out in an Adirondack chair nursing and you started yelling because I moved you and scraped your leg and foot against the rough edge of the arm. Neither were serious, and you got over them within seconds, but talk about heartbreaking!
You are so sweet and innocent with your giant blue eyes! I could look into them forever, and I plan to do exactly that. No matter how much the rest of you changes, I hope your eyes will always be able to bring me back to these days so I can remember your beginning and cherish how far we've come together.
Loving you with all my everything,
Momma
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| { A sad baby after her shots } |
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| { I got a new phone a week before Hazel was due and this is why there is no storage space on it anymore. } |
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| { Aunt Erin and the sweetest hooded cape made by my grandma } |
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| { First day of school! She's not sure what to make of it... } |
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| { School drop off } |
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| { She actually looks like this in my arms as I am typing this } |
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| { So much drool } |
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| { My first day back to work } |
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| { Aunt Cara came for a visit } |
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| { Time to chill in the pool } |
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| { Mosquito free setup } |
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